A few minutes into his meditation, a rather large man appeared before him. The man had heard of this monk and his teachings, and thought they were useless in the real world. He believed the calmness shown by the monk could be destroyed if only enough pressure could be applied. A test was in order...
The man began to hurl insults at the monk, calling him names, ridiculing him, and mocking his teachings as nonsense.
To his utter surprise, there was not the slightest change in the expression on the monk's face as the insults flew towards him.
Now the man became angry. He hurled more and more abuses; however, the monk was again completely unmoved.
Ultimately the man grew tired of insulting the monk. He asked, "I have been insulting you with the most vile abuses I could hurl, and yet you are not angry at all?"
The monk calmly replied, "My dear brother, I have not accepted a single insult from you."
"But you heard all of them, didn't you?" the man argued.
The monk replied, "I do not need the insults, so why would I even hear them?"
Now the man was even more puzzled. He could not understand the calm reply.
Looking at his disturbed face, the monk further explained, "All of those insults remain with you."
"That cannot be possible. I hurled all of them at you!" the man persisted.
"My dear brother," said the monk, "suppose you attempt to give gold coins to someone and he refuses to accept them, with whom will those coins remain?"
The man replied, "If I have attempted to give the coins and they are not accepted, then they would remain with me."
With a meaningful smile on his face, the monk said, "Now you are right. The same has happened with your insults. You came here and hurled them at me, but I have not accepted a single one from you; hence, all of those insults remain with you, so there is no reason for me to be angry."
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If I had a dollar for every time I've let an insult get to me, I could probably retire today. I could live on my yacht in the Caribbean, docked next to an island, which I would also own. I'm just saying...
The monk in our story has decided he doesn't need the insults, so why accept them? That philosophy is so simple it seems silly. How can we choose not to accept an insult?
We find the answer in the refusal of the gold coins. We turn down lots of things during our time on this Earth; invitations to parties, job offers, free stuff we don't need, etc. We refuse them for a variety of reasons, but in the end we just say no because we've decided we don't want those things. Now the monk's philosophy begins to makes sense.
If we can refuse things that are good, why can't we simply refuse things that are bad? Because our ego tells us that each insult, each slight to us, must be defended. When someone harms us or challenges us, we've been taught to harm them back. If we do not fight back, we are viewed as a pushover or a coward.
Now view the situation above through the eyes of the monk. He's had enough insults in his lifetime. It seems as though he's bored with the man that is yelling at him. The monk goes so far as to say, "I do not need the insults, so why would I even hear them?"
Since the monk has had enough insults, he simply says no to any more of them. It's the same way you and I would say no to an offer of more food when we're full, or no to free tickets to a football game we know we can't attend.
If we can say no to things that make us feel good, we can also say no to things that make us feel bad.
Enjoy the ride.
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